Fear, Anxiety or Stress: How to Help Your Child Before an Exam

Exams, tests, quizzes are always stressful. Is it possible to avoid it? Hardly. And you don't have to. In this article, we tell you how to turn the excitement before an exam into a helpful tool, and we also explain how parents and teachers can help your child at an important time in his life.

Fear, stress, and anxiety:

It's important to distinguish between these concepts. Anxiety is present in the conditional week before the exam and during the exam and afterward until the results come in. It is a long exhausting state in which the brain is in tension all the time. It is ready to face the problem, subconsciously waiting for it. Anxiety can affect health: children become ill more often, psychosomatic issues appear.

Fear arises episodically: for example, when discussing an exam, in the morning while getting ready for school, or during an exam when one sees the questions on the ticket. Stress is more prolonged, but after the exam, it disappears. This is what makes it different from anxiety. Before examinations, a schoolboy can experience all three feelings, but stress and fear more often.

Normal or deviation:

Fear and stress are natural states for any person, regardless of age. Moreover, when the body is under stressful conditions, the brain mobilizes all its reserves and starts working at its peak. It quickly produces solutions, looking for ways to cope with the situation. The relaxed brain works slower. Therefore, before important events, you should not drink large quantities of sedatives: they reduce mental activity.

But not everyone is "friendly" with stress. Some feel that the brain, on the contrary, is blocked, there is an emptiness in the head, and everything is gone. Reaction to fear and the level of stress resistance depend on both physiological factors - the nervous system and temperament - and external factors: the environment in which a person grew up, for example.

Depending on the ability to cope with stress, people can be divided into four types:

Flexible. Their stress mobilizes to fight. Teachers say about such children that they pass exams better than they study. The results are sometimes higher than anyone expected to see.

Stuck. At first, they deny stress turn a blind eye to it. And when there is a conditional week before the exam, they have to mobilize and are washed away by the wave. They get choked up, and it's hard for them to cope with that volume of fear.

Resilience. Such people tolerate moderate stress well, responding calmly to a challenge even if it comes in a wave. They easily pare things down in their head and calmly prepare.

Fragile. Their stress breaks them down, so they need tremendous support from parents and teachers. To pass the exams, they have to be confident in their knowledge.

But whether a schoolboy will be afraid and stressed or not, whether he will cope with them or break down, depends not only on his psyche. Another factor is the attitude towards the test or exam. And here, too, there is a difference: the child may be upset because he/she did not achieve some goal (for example, not getting into a dream university). Or he or she may be afraid of the anticipated reaction of the environment.

The reaction of teachers and parents:

Severe stress in a high school student can be related to several things.

Children are frightened not only by shouting and scolding but also by an expressive look or silent displeasure. For example, a child comes in with an A - they praise him, with a B - they sigh in disappointment. Time after time he/she has a feeling that he/she is loved only for being perfect, so he/she tends to get only "A's" and throws a tantrum because of a "B". This leads to problems with self-esteem: the person does not like himself if he has not made a successful career, even if it is not his desire.

Often you can hear from teachers phrases like "Your whole life depends on exams," but this does not motivate but instead intimidates students. Similar words can be heard from a parent. There is no sense in them: a graduate, who has a goal, himself understands how important it is for him to get in and pass with a good score. There is no need to frighten him. If the child has a fragile psyche, such phrases will just break him.

That's why both parents and teachers should choose their words carefully, even for a joke. If you want to motivate, it's better to say "Show your abilities" rather than "You can do 100 points. In the latter case, the child will fight hard for that hundred, be afraid of not meeting expectations, and be upset if he gets, for example, 98.

But parents and teachers are not the only ones who influence a child's state of mind before an exam. A schoolchild also needs to take responsibility for preparation and results.

How to help your child:

In elementary school, children are less afraid of tests and exams because they don't yet see their value. Children at this age can only worry about their parents' reactions. Therefore, the best way to prevent unnecessary stress is to restrain negative reactions. It is better to calmly figure out the reasons for the conditional "C," to find weaknesses and help eliminate them.

In middle and high school, tests and exams mean more, and students begin to worry about themselves and their future. Exam rehearsal will help. Familiarity with the procedure and the environment is also important. Your child also may need the help of tutors or papers writers to prepare additional assignments (in case you need to prepare some written work by the exam deadline). In this way, your child will feel more confident and, consequently, more relaxed.

Psychological training can also help. It is better to start them in the fall, not two weeks before the exam. Psychological stability is as important as knowledge of the subject. Because up to 25% of the result a child loses is that he is not mentally ready for a new procedure for him. Even a request to leave personal belongings at the entrance to the classroom can knock him out.

And it's better not to learn anything the day before the exam. You can go for a walk with friends, play sports, listen to music. If you want, you can run through the questions before going to bed, but do not try to memorize information frantically. But the main thing before the exam is to get enough sleep. Otherwise, the brain will not work effectively.

And what about parents? You have to understand your child's strengths and weaknesses to find out how he behaves under stress. Becomes inattentive? Think about how to help him. Don't discuss exams with your child before they are taken. Explain that a failed exam is not the end of the world. If they fail this year, they will get in next year. If you fail this year, you can apply for a similar degree and then, for example, transfer. Your child needs to know that there is always a way out, and your parents will be there to help.